Break the Cycle of Wanting What You Don’t Like

For years, scientists believed that if you wanted something, you must also like it. But research now shows that wanting and liking are two distinct processes. While they’re often related, you don’t always like what you want. This makes breaking certain habits tough, especially when what you want is driven by brain chemistry rather than genuine enjoyment.

The difference comes down to a neurotransmitter called dopamine. This powerful chemical plays a huge role in addiction, but also in motivation, pleasure, and habit formation. When dopamine is released in your brain, it feels rewarding and makes you want more of what triggered it—whether that’s delicious food, drugs, or even just scrolling through social media. It doesn’t matter if you truly like the activity; as long as dopamine is involved, you’ll keep chasing that reward.

The article gives an eye-opening example of mice in a lab experiment. When their dopamine centers were stimulated, they pressed a bar to get a reward—even though pressing the bar also gave them an uncomfortable electric shock. They didn’t like the shock, but they still wanted the dopamine release. This shows how powerful dopamine can be, and why it’s so hard to break bad habits, even when you know they’re not good for you.

Think about how this applies to your own life. Maybe you’re not a mouse pressing a bar for a shock, but have you ever reached for your phone to scroll through Instagram or TikTok even when you knew it wasn’t going to make you feel great? Or eaten a whole bag of chips knowing you’d regret it later? These are classic examples of your brain chasing dopamine, even though the outcome isn’t something you actually like.

So, what can you do about it?

You can’t escape dopamine—it’s an essential part of how our brains function. But you can train your brain to crave healthier sources of it. Social media, junk food, and quick fixes offer instant gratification, but there are plenty of ways to get that same reward response from activities that improve your well-being.

Here are three takeaways to help you improve your life by managing your wants:

1.    Recognize the Difference Between Wanting and Liking
Start asking yourself: Do I actually enjoy this, or do I just want the dopamine hit? This is a simple yet powerful question that can shift your perspective and make you more mindful of your habits. Noticing when you’re stuck in the wanting cycle is the first step toward breaking free.

2.    Choose Healthy Dopamine Triggers
Instead of reaching for your phone or that sugary snack, consciously seek out activities that offer longer-term satisfaction. Exercise is one of the best ways to trigger a healthy dopamine response. Engaging in creative activities like painting, cooking, or journaling also helps. Personally, when I need a dopamine fix, I turn to painting (you can check out @JasonPikenArt on Instagram), cooking, or hiking with my family. These activities not only make me feel better in the moment but also contribute to my overall health and happiness.

3.    Practice Delayed Gratification
We live in a world of instant gratification, but training yourself to wait can have lasting benefits. The next time you feel a craving for something you know isn’t good for you, practice delaying it. Take a walk, do a quick workout, or call a friend. Sometimes, just putting a little distance between you and your want can lessen its hold over you, making it easier to choose something better.

Dopamine is a tricky thing, but understanding how it works is the key to managing your desires and building better habits. If you want to dive deeper into the science behind this, I recommend reading the article, and as always, feel free to reach out if you have questions! Here’s to making healthier choices together!